And I'm sure I'm not the only one.
I am not a super-young bride, fresh out of high school. No, I have been to college, been through grad school, and have made a name for myself in the legal community. A name. My name.
To top it off, I have a very memorable name. My first name is unusual, and paired with my last name...well, let's just say people don't forget it. It has been the catalyst for much teasing and jokes over the years, but I have grown attached to it somehow. I'm proud to be a part of my family and have my family name.
I have always planned to change my last name when I get married. There is something about that ultimate coming together, becoming one family, starting my new life as his wife.
My identity crisis? My middle name. I like my middle name. Love my middle name. But...I also love my (now) last name. What do I do? I thought about becoming:
First Last Married
or
First Middle Married
or
First Middle Last Married
But that last one is probably entirely too many names. I want to avoid the hyphenated name at all costs. But that leaves me in a quandary, and with a serious identity crisis.
Have any of you experienced an identity crisis when it comes to changing your name?
Monday, May 11, 2009
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I have two middle names.....I'm keeping all of them and adding on his. So I'm going to have 5 flipping names.....on credit cards stuff like that, I'll just have my first last and married.
ReplyDeleteSo many options!! I kept my maiden name as a second middle name. (DMV hyphenated it without my asking, but ... alas!)
ReplyDeleteFor business purposes you can still go by your maiden name (many attorneys do that) and for everyday life have all 4!!!
Hope all is well.
I just wrote about this last week! I'm planning on doing First Middle Last Married because I'm attached to my last name, but I'm not planning on going by it (and am DEFINITELY not hyphenating.
ReplyDeletei'm still not sure which option to choose, but i'm leaning towards first last-married
ReplyDeleteWhew, what a thing to think about. I did not think this through, (show me your surprised face)I just dropped the maiden name. Never really thought about hyphenating it, though I AM an only child, and no boys to keep the name alive...Maybe I should have thought about it. Thanks now I'm having an idenity crisis ;)
ReplyDeleteI go by my middle name, like my first name, but don't want four names or any sort of hyphen. I' going First Middle Married.
ReplyDeletei'm not attached to my last name so i'm going first middle married. but not everyone is like that. my best friend has two middle names. It goes first, middle, mom's last, dad's last. When she got married she didn't add his name at all. Anyway, it's entirely possible to have 4 names. Why not, right? also, you could have your legal name one thing and just have people call you another... i'm not sure that will solve your problem, but it's an option!
ReplyDeletealso having the crisis! I'm just planning on socially using Married Last Name until it becomes an issue... by the time I "have" to make a decision (kids? in three years when my passport expires?), I'm hoping I'm attached enough to be First Middle Married.
ReplyDeleteIt doesn't matter what you go by cause noone ever pronounces Cowan right anyway. *sigh* Have they lived with this all their life?
ReplyDeleteOMG... I was having this same conversation this past weekend with some just married friends of mine.
ReplyDeleteI might just drop the middle name, keep the last and add his. But yes...for now, I am also having the crisis :-))
~Lilian~
I guess I never really considered doing anything but taking my fiance's last name.
ReplyDeleteI love my middle name and last name too though!