Wednesday, June 17, 2009

The Hardest Part...

I guess this is as good a time as any to tell you what the hardest part of this whole wedding planning process has been.

My little sister is missing.


My next younger sister (and my best friend) hasn't spoken to our family in months. She left in January, in the middle of the night. She and her boyfriend drove to Alabama. And they got married. And she never came back. We only know she is married because after she had been gone forty days, my dad drove to Alabama to find her. He found her, living with her mother-in-law in Alabama.

She didn't invite us to her wedding. She didn't even tell us she was getting married. And she wants nothing to do with us.

I can't describe to you how painful this has been for my whole family. As I mentioned, she has been my best friend since about middle school. We would talk about three times a day - right up to the day she left. And now she's gone. She doesn't get on Facebook anymore or MySpace. She doesn't respond to emails, text messages, or snail mail. We have sent her birthday presents, Easter presents, wedding presents. Nothing.



She did talk to me, on rare occasion, for less than a month after she left. Then she stopped. Without explanation. She was calling my littlest sister once a week. Then that stopped. Without explanation. My mother has not talked to her since January 13th. Neither has my older sister. And I cannot begin to explain to you how close our family is. No one - no one - saw this coming. Not her roommate, not her friends, no one.

She is supposed to be my Maid (now Matron) of Honor. And I have no idea if she will be there. I have a dress for her, in my closet. I would be lying if I said I won't be hoping - right up to the moment I walk down the aisle - that she will show up.

I am trying to come to grips with the fact that she might not be there. But I can't. I can't come to grips with the fact that she won't call me, won't email me, won't talk to me. I don't understand why she left. And it hurts. More than anything I have ever felt. I find myself crying uncontrollably, at least on a weekly basis. I miss her. So bad.

So now you know the rest of the story. My sweet fiance has been so understanding through it all. But it has been one of the most difficult things I have ever gone through. Am still going through.

I don't think it will get any easier as my wedding day gets closer. She promised my dad when he went to find her that she would be at my bridal shower. And that she would come down at least one time before that. Well, my bridal shower is next weekend. I don't think she will be there.

I don't know why this is happening. I prayed tonight in church that God would please show me why. Help me understand. But in the meantime, I will try to learn to trust Him. He holds the world in His hands. He will not forsake me. And He is with my little sister, wherever she is. And so I pray that He will bring her back to us. In His time. And that He will give us peace in the meantime.

Thanks for letting me share my thoughts with you. And please keep my family in your prayers.

14 comments:

  1. My thoughts are with you and your family.

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  2. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

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  3. Oh how terribly sad. I am so sorry. I hope with all my heart that this gets better.

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  4. I'm so sorry! My thoughts and prayers are with you!

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  5. i hope that your relationships heal with time.

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  6. I am so sorry! My prayers go out to you and your family.

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  7. I am so sorry. What a terrible cloud to be hanging over you. All I can say is that sometimes people get off track or do things that have nothing to do with us. There is nothing you could have done to be a better sister and make this not happen. Sometimes life can be just too much to take, huh? I can't imagine
    I am also going thru he pain of someone who will not be there and I havn't blogged about it. My stepdad from age 4-18...we lost touch a couples years back. I contacted him to tell him about the wedding and he informed me that he has a "new life" and doesn't want to be in contact with me. It can't explain how painful this is........but in a way......I think you understand. To have things happen that make no sense. To feel like your wedding is coming up and not knowing how to ignore the void. A stepdad is not a sister....but it still terribly confusing and unbearable to take.
    Hang in there!

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  8. Hugs my friend. You already know my prayers are with you and your sister and the rest of your family. I hope that she shows up too, and I hope that this will someday be something that all of you can look back and giggle at. I can't imagine how hard it must be to go thru this without her!

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  9. So sorry that you're going through such an emotional time during what should be the happiest time of your life. My grandmother didn't show up to my mom's wedding... and we still don't see her/speak to her. I know how hard it can be to lose a family member. Just focus on all the positive things going on right now. I'll be thinking about you and your family!

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  10. I'm so sorry! I really hope that your family and your sister reconnect very soon!

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  11. Oh my gosh! I am so sorry!!!! My older sister sort of did the same thing. She was living in Florida last I heard but I don't know if she is still there. But unlike your situation, we weren't best friends. I love her and got along with her really well but there was a big age gap. I am so sorry and I hope that God gives you peace of mind! Good luck and hopefully she will come around!

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  12. I am SO sorry to hear about your sister. :( Don't give up hope. Just keep praying about it. Trust in Him. I will be praying for you and your family.

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  13. Oh dear, I will keep your family in my prayers. Stay strong and support each other.

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  14. I am literlally at work about to burst into tears! One of my sisters who is my MOH is my bestfriend as well and I could not imagine lossing her to anything! I will be keeping your family in my prayers that God will watch over her and keep you all and that hopefully one day soon he will show you all the answer. But remeber dont stress you have to give this trail to God because the more you try to have control over it an try to fix it the longer it taked for him to work.
    Blessings!

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