The Hardest Part...

I guess this is as good a time as any to tell you what the hardest part of this whole wedding planning process has been.

My little sister is missing.

My next younger sister (and my best friend) hasn't spoken to our family in months. She left in January, in the middle of the night. She and her boyfriend drove to Alabama. And they got married. And she never came back. We only know she is married because after she had been gone forty days, my dad drove to Alabama to find her. He found her, living with her mother-in-law in Alabama.

She didn't invite us to her wedding. She didn't even tell us she was getting married. And she wants nothing to do with us.

I can't describe to you how painful this has been for my whole family. As I mentioned, she has been my best friend since about middle school. We would talk about three times a day - right up to the day she left. And now she's gone. She doesn't get on Facebook anymore or MySpace. She doesn't respond to emails, text messages, or snail mail. We have sent her birthday presents, Easter presents, wedding presents. Nothing.

She did talk to me, on rare occasion, for less than a month after she left. Then she stopped. Without explanation. She was calling my littlest sister once a week. Then that stopped. Without explanation. My mother has not talked to her since January 13th. Neither has my older sister. And I cannot begin to explain to you how close our family is. No one - no one - saw this coming. Not her roommate, not her friends, no one.

She is supposed to be my Maid (now Matron) of Honor. And I have no idea if she will be there. I have a dress for her, in my closet. I would be lying if I said I won't be hoping - right up to the moment I walk down the aisle - that she will show up.

I am trying to come to grips with the fact that she might not be there. But I can't. I can't come to grips with the fact that she won't call me, won't email me, won't talk to me. I don't understand why she left. And it hurts. More than anything I have ever felt. I find myself crying uncontrollably, at least on a weekly basis. I miss her. So bad.

So now you know the rest of the story. My sweet fiance has been so understanding through it all. But it has been one of the most difficult things I have ever gone through. Am still going through.

I don't think it will get any easier as my wedding day gets closer. She promised my dad when he went to find her that she would be at my bridal shower. And that she would come down at least one time before that. Well, my bridal shower is next weekend. I don't think she will be there.

I don't know why this is happening. I prayed tonight in church that God would please show me why. Help me understand. But in the meantime, I will try to learn to trust Him. He holds the world in His hands. He will not forsake me. And He is with my little sister, wherever she is. And so I pray that He will bring her back to us. In His time. And that He will give us peace in the meantime.

Thanks for letting me share my thoughts with you. And please keep my family in your prayers.