Tuesday, June 23, 2009

"Marriage Planning"

As my wedding day draws closer, I am finding myself becoming more focused on "marriage planning" than just "wedding planning." The dress is bought, the invitations are out, and my "to do" list is slowly dwindling. It is nice to feel like I have some time to focus on the whole point of it all - on August 15th, I will be his wife.

I can't wait.

I have thought to myself, if I devoted anywhere close to the amount of time I spend reading about weddings to reading about marriage, how much better could my marriage be? After all, the tulle, the peonies, and the Gocco-inspired invitations will all be behind us soon. But our marriage will just be starting. How can we make it as good as possible?

I have started looking into some books about marriage, and these two intrigued me.

The first is "Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts: Seven Questions to Ask Before and After You Marry" by Les and Leslie Parrott. Here is a snippet from Amazon.com.

Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts, created by relationship experts Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott, is a comprehensive marriage program designed specifically for today’s couples by a couple. And now, in this updated edition, the Parrotts’ award-winning approach has been expanded to incorporate ten more years of feedback, research, and professional experience.

This is more than a book—it’s practically a self-guided premarital counseling course, and it is used by counselors and churches across the country and, now in ten languages, worldwide. Questions at the end of every chapter help you explore each topic personally. Companion men’s and women’s workbooks* full of self-tests and exercises help you apply what you learn and enjoy intimate discussions along the way. There is even a seven-session DVD kit (with a bonus session for people entering a second marriage) available that you can use on your own or with other couples in a group or a class that want to grow together. In this dynamic DVD you’ll not only hear entertaining and insightful teaching from The Parrotts, but you’ll also meet other real-life couples who provide amazing candor and perspective.

Relationship experts Les and Leslie Parrott show you the secrets to building a marriage that lasts.

• Uncover the most important misbeliefs of marriage

• Learn how to communicate with instant understanding

• Discover the secret to reducing and resolving conflict

• Master the skills of money management

• Get your sex life off to a great start

• Understand the three essential ingredients to lasting love

• Discover the importance of becoming “soul mates” … and more.

Make your marriage everything it is meant to be. Save your marriage—before (and after) it starts.

Seems especially appropriate for those of us who will be getting married very soon!

This next one looks valuable not only for engaged couples, but also for marriages of any length. It is called, "Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires, The Respect He Desperately Needs" by Emerson Eggerichs. Once again, here is a snippet from Amazon.com:

A Marriage Book with a Difference!

A Revolutionary Message

"I've been married 35 years and have not heard this taught." "This is the key that I have been missing." "A lightbulb moment." "You connected all the dots for me." "As a counselor, I have never been so excited about any material." "You're on to something huge here."
A Simple Message
A wife has one driving need -- to feel loved. When that need is met, she is happy. A husband has one driving need -- to feel respected. When that need is met, he is happy.
When either of these needs isn't met, things get crazy. "Love and Respect" reveals why spouses react negatively to each other, and how they can deal with such conflict quickly, easily and biblically.
A Message That Works
Based on over three decades of counseling, as well as scientific and biblical research, Dr. Emerson Eggerichs and his wife, Sarah, have already taken the "Love and Respect" message across America and are changing the way couples talk to, think about, and treat each other.
What do you want for your marriage? Want some peace? Want to feel close? Want to feel valued? Want to experience marriage the way God intended? Then why not try some "Love and Respect."

Have you read either of these books? If so, what did you think? Do you have any other good ones to recommend?


  1. I really like 1001 Questions to Ask Before You Get Married by Monica Leahy. It gets you to talk about a lot of practical things but also gives you scenarios on how you and your future husband would handle each situation. So far we are through half the book and feel it has really helped us talk about the things that just havent come up yet but will over the course of the next few years. We've even been able to use some of the things we've learned during the planning process as well.

  2. havent read these- will definitely have to look into purchasing them.

  3. that 2nd one sounds good.. have you seen Fireproof yet? J & I watched before we got married we really liked it!

  4. We actually did watch Fireproof on Valentine's Day - and loved it! It has such a great message.

  5. I'm always looking for good reads..especially when they have to do with marriage!!

    PS- I've recently passed on the "Splashing Award" to you. In my recent blog you can read about the details. But thanks for being an alluring, amusing, bewitching, impressing, and inspiring blog!!