Monday, March 2, 2009

Thoughts on Marriage...

I am in an interesting situation. I am happily planning my wedding, and looking forward to my upcoming marriage. While I am a wedding planner by night, I am a divorce attorney by day. I am obsessed with all things weddings, but my career is focused on helping people undo that most special day. It certainly does feel like a conflict of interest. Now, I did not go to law school to become a divorce attorney. My heart and my passion is adoption. However, to get fully into the field of adoption, family law is the most natural route. And family law includes divorce.

My fiance and I come from very unusual backgrounds for this day and time - both of our parents have been married for over 30 years. We have had wonderful examples of strong marriages all around us. But every day, I deal with broken people in broken relationships. I can't help but ask did it come to this? And for every couple it is different.

We all have people in our lives who have gone through the devastating loss of divorce. I suppose what we need to learn from them is how to safeguard our marriages so divorce is not even an option. Learn from the lack of communication, the lack of affection, the isolation and the unresolved conflicts. Learn to address issues when they are small, and not allow them to become wedges that drive us apart.

I am certainly no expert on marriage - I have over five months to go before I enter into mine! And while this post may be a bit "heavier" than most, I do think it is important for all brides to be careful not to just get caught up in just the "wedding planning", but to make sure we focus on the "marriage planning" as well. And that includes me. :)


  1. You are wise to plan for the marriage more than the wedding. The fact that you and Nate have the Lord in the midst of your lives will go a very long way to a successful marriage. I am excited that Roger and I will be able to be a small part of your special day. Lots of love to you and Nate. Aunt Sue

  2. Hey Girl,
    Have been trying to get caught up on your post since I have been out of the loop so long due to work and clinicals. You guys are awesome who help people adopt. And I am glad that you love the adoption route. Without you guys, people like Michael and I couldn't have children. We are starting the process of tying to adopt. I just wanted to say Thanks!